Okay, look, my nutbrain nephew Irv started this blog 4 days ago. I know his password because it's the same for everything -- his online bank account, his storage unit gate code, his medical records online access at the insurance company where I work.
He was bla bla-ing about how depressed he was because the Labor Day Weekend Family Barbecue is coming up so I told him to start this friggin' blog. Hey, Schmo! You didn't have to say I was "pot-bellied." What are all those Internet Ladies going to think?
Oh Yah, and that I'm a killer! There's a romance-inducer! Dude, we all know what happened last Thanksgiving. Irv lost his fingers when he lost his mind and took out my parents and that little girl - what's her name - from the church. Little Goldilocks or whatever with the Meals-on-Wheels. May she rest in peace.
Hey, and Kwan, what the Frig are you thinkin' when you write on this thing that you're going to "use" me to get elected?? Boat People?? You came over on a yacht with a swimming pool! You better just delete this blog before you announce your "candidacy."
Hey, you two forget that I support both of you! Huh! I don't see any paychecks comin' from either one of you. Psychopath?? Dudes, it's this government that's gone psycho. Capitalism is evolving into "Screw-You-All-Ism." How Psycho is that?
I'm just a regular guy that tells people off, and sometimes is too close to multiple murders.
Hey, my parents are dead! Ever think of that? You know how close I was to my mom. She taught me to bake.
"Meat Cleaver"? It's called a "German Baking Knife."
We have to have a talk before Labor Day...
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