Labor and Victor Rorg

Hello, this is Kwan.

I have been in labor for four days counting. I am dictating this on pain pills and in between contractions to a nurse. I won't tell you where I am.

This baby has to belong to Victor Rorg because it HURTS so much!!

Victor, I reported your location at the Ramada to the police, and my mother told them all of your past history and by now you have been presented with a restraining order at the very least (my mother has friends in the San Jose police department).

GAAArrrgh!!!!

I have lots of regrets.  I regret the time I wasted living with Victor Rorg in LA last summer. I regret any sexual contact I may have had with him. I regret running for Congress last Fall and then dropping out of the race. I regret having a uterus. I regret being a woman. I regret falling in love with Irv. I regret my mother's nagging. I regret our reliance on fossil fuels. I regret Tory Spelling's reality show.

GAAAARRRGGG!!!

I have plans for my life after this baby is born. First...I'm going to send Victor Rorg to prison for the rest of my life and everyone who is alive today's life. I am going to save money. I am going to ....

GGGGGAAAARRRWWWWWKKKKKK!

Sincerely,

Kwan