WHITE LIGHT

I told my nurse to post this on the blog. I hope she did. I dictated it to her.

I, Victor Rorg, floated out of my body last night. Really high, too. I mean, man I was fuckin' up 30 feet. I guess I went through the ceiling somehow. I saw my own body in the hospital bed with the ventilator and all the other machines I get paid to deny people use of with Complete Wrap.

Boy, I need to lose weight. One thing leaving your body does is teach you how fat you really are! I saw my son, Irv, and Kwannie, and the kid. I love that kid. He's my grandson, you know. Yeah, kids' warped for a baby. Yeah, he swatted the nurse on the tush three times today, but hey, he's a Rorg, isn't he?

Poor Irv. I never told Irv he was my son. The story is so wrong and so twisted even for our family, that I thought I'd protect him.

Because ol' Uncle Vick is really a sweet guy...I am. I told the white light that, but the white light told me that I had sent too many people up to it by denying them medical treatment from Complete Wrap. I didn't want to get into an argument with the white light. I mean, you're not supposed to, are you? I never meant to have people die because I denied them treatments. Hey, I can't help it if Complete Wrap says chemotherapy is "experimental" and that an appendectomy is "cosmetic" and therefore not covered under our plan.

I agree with all the loud people in those health care reform town halls they show on the hospital TV.

I floated out of my body three times. I don't know if I came back. I told my nurse to write all this down and she's a dutiful nurse. She was in the army. She wouldn't kiss me, though.

I forgive Irv for shooting me. I forgive everyone for all the pain they've caused me. I even forgive the white light for criticizing me.

Strange, but I never thought I'd see a white light. No one ever talks about floating out of their body and seeing the flames of hell. Isn't that interesting? You'd think most people would see flames of hell instead of a white light.

I mean, we've all been pretty bad, haven't we?

Vick

(transcribed by Nurse Keenway Aug. 15 - before Victor Rorg was pronounced dead at 11 p.m. that night)