What Have I Done?

Irv here.

What have I done?  

I'm writing this from a place that the fat kid, Marcus took me.  He's been following me, which is creepy, but he followed me to the Pole Dance Palace and was waiting outside...when it was all over.  And now, he's taken me somewhere safe and is running around fixing me meals and saying he'll give me a sponge bath if I want, and staring at me for a really long time while I try to think this through.

What have I done?  

I stabbed my Uncle Vick.  I stabbed him.  I never killed anybody.  I don't think I killed Vick, but I stabbed him, Christ, like that's much better...

I did it because I was fed up.  Have you ever been fed up?  You just don't give a fuck anymore?  I mean, I'm nowhere right now.  

Kwan, let me work for your campaign like you first said I could, okay?  I hope you're all right.  I shouted at you to come with me and Marcus when we ran out into the parking lot, but you shouted back that you were going to stay and help Vick.  God, you were holding his head in your lap and kneeling in that back doorway, with all those Pole Dance girls standing around you, and that one dude, the bald one, who was screaming like a woman and running in circles by the garbage cans yelling, "My wife can't find out!  My wife can't find out!"

WTF.  I was fed up.  I didn't want Vick to hurt Kwan or anyone else any more, or me.  Yeah, me.  So call it self-defense.  I did it because Vick killed my dad just days ago.  I can't prove it right now, but it's true.  

Marcus says we're "blood brothers" because he pricked his finger and pressed it against this scrape I got when I fell running out of that Pole Palace.  He just kissed my ear.  He baked a "Cookie Loaf" or something that he got the recipe for on the back of a Quaker Oats can.  He bakes.  So did Uncle Vick.

This is the sickest part:  Part of me loves my uncle.  He raised me.  He took me to that Pole Dance Place when I was 21.  

I wish Marcus would give me his bathrobe back to wear.  He wanted to take pictures of me with my shirt off because I'm like "Adonis" he said.

Geez Louize!

I'm not fed up any more, but I'm confused and sad.  I must really be a psycho like Vick and my grandpa.  I'm not any better than they are.

Marcus says I'm all wrong, and he's got his arms around me.

Damn.

Irv.