Blue Irv

Hey, it's Irv--

I remember starting this blog in August. I was feelin' blue and Uncle Vick said starting a blog on Blogplace or Blogspot or whatever this is called would help lift my spirits. Then, he went down to the 7-11 and picked up a prostitute who had just been released from women's prison.

This blog has lifted me up, but it hasn't cured me. Hell, I'm 38 but I don't have a paying job. Haven't had one in seven months. I'm up here in San Francisco with everyone sayin' they're in love with me. I don't know my way around town.

I used to be a scuba diving instructor in Fresno. Not many places to scuba in Fresno, but "Scuba Dooba" had these huge empty grain silos, bigger than pools. They'd dump some tropical fish in there and charge suckers 40 bucks to suit up and go diving in grain silos. There'd just be one leaky porthole on the side, and the whole "tank" was dark and deep.

I quit before the company folded. I didn't have a scuba license, anyway.

Before that, I was a stunt man. Yeah, for movies! Good pay sometimes, but I suffered injuries a lot. How often can you throw yourself off a billboard onto a mattress?

Hell, I don't know what to do now. Kwan wants me to work for her, but she doesn't have any funds to run for Congress, yet. Says she's gotta solicit donations for her campaign. Says I won't make much money, but I've got a place to stay and meals.

I'm feeling anxious lately. Like we're not safe up here.

Irv