Hey Irvie!
It's me, your lovable Uncle Vick!
I'm out on five thousand dollars bail. Your father posted it for me. I'm back at the house. I'm watching the plasma screen TV. "The Two Coreys" is on.
The cops read your blog. Yeah. I showed it to 'em. I've got one of 'em here with me now. Hey, guess what? Lady cops aren't all lesbians. The one here with me sure as hell isn't. Her name is Officer Beth. She's spendin' the night again. I think she digs me. She likes my pot belly.
She told me a secret. You already know what it is. She called her friends up in San Fran, and they found you in the Castro and arrested you for suspicion of murder. Ha Ha. I guess I'll be seein' you down here soon.
I heard they put you in a cell without your shirt on. Hey, I bet you meet some cute guys that way! Like on OZ.
Gotta go. The bubbles in the bathtub are gettin' flat and Beth likes 'em bubbly!
Hiya Kwan!
Uncle Vick
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