The Truth Hurts

Irv here.

James says I'm being released today. Insufficient evidence to hold me. James is a good guy.

I'm 38 and I'm just now admitting certain things to myself. I've been protecting my dad. I lied and said he wasn't at the Thanksgiving dinner last year, and now I'm ready to admit he was. Why did I lie about him?

I just didn't want to believe the truth. The truth about my whole damn family.

God, I really need a shave. My sideburns are losing their points.

You see, if I believe the truth about my family, then there is a bigger fear. What will it mean about me??

My grandma was a corrections officer...and I only recently found out who my grandpa really was. And look at their two sons! One is a psychopath, and one is delusional.

What does that mean for me? I'm scared. Maybe that's why I was a stunt man back in the day. Fear is something I'm familiar with. I replace one fear with another to escape them.

Whatever. It's cold up here. James is going to lend me some cash. I'm not sure I want to go back to Kwan. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't even know if we've still got my new corvette. I paid for it with Vick's American Express Card, so the car must be repossessed by now.

Maybe I'm no better than the rest of them. Why would I steal a 12 gauge from Vick, if I was any better than he was?

Shit, I've got to toughen up, but the more I let myself believe about my family, the more freaked out I get.

Irv